was organizing files and i thought i might throw this together. my goodness, this would've been during my sniper main phase. i have some uncomfortable feelings around that.
i was still emotionally overwhelmed with the weight of my massive life failures, coping by spending all my hours either sleeping or playing video games 8 hours straight, desperately hoping to get any feeling of significance, admiration, or purpose. mental health was down the toilet and i clearly recorded, edited and shared these to try and puff up my ego a bit. it's a never a good thing, tying your pride and self-worth to your results in a game. you're playing slots with your mental health, and i was very much a selfish asshole when tf2 was involved.
once this finishes uploading, I'll clear it off my SSD and I hope it stays tucked away in that backup drive forever where I never need to see it again.
well at least it's something to blog about..
