Bimbo Farewell's First Semester at the School for Gay Clowns and Avian Dentists
Bimbo arrives at the Gay Communist College as a clown student, meeting Cassandra, who is pursuing a doctorate in Avian Dentistry. Together, they learn to understand themselves better.
originally published on Wattpad (22nd August 2022)
Episode 01
The First Lecture
There was just a few things that Bimbo Farewell needed before his first lecture on The History of Lesbian Clownology. Although he had his laptop with him, he still needed his clown keyboard before the ClownBook™ could be used properly. This wasn't some shady business practice by Big Clown either, there were genuinely useful features like HonkScrolling™ and RabbitOS™ that would be necessary for his notes to make sense. Bimbo stared blankly, panicking that he had forgotten such an important thing on his first day of clown college! It wasn't underneath his Bobby McFerrin poster, or the collection of used red noses that student services had provided as financial assistance. With sudden realisation, he stopped and reached into his front pocket. Miles, kilometres, and many acres of colourful cloth erupted out of his shirt, until after what felt like an eternity, the clown keyboard fell and crashed loudly onto the floor. Luckily it was not broken, for he was gay. Finally ready, Bimbo hurried down the hallway into class.
A colourfully dressed lady was in the front of the room, singing something to herself as she scribbled upon the GayBoard™. Most of Bimbo's classmates were dressed to impress. The red-wigged girl near the centre of the room truly looked like she had her clown self together, her tie perfectly unknotted, and her shoe sizes a perfect golden ratio. A man in the corner barely seemed to notice the honkiness of his own massive honkers, honking honkily to his seat. In comparison, it made Bimbo feel like he had just rolled out of his Clown Car bed with barely a shoelace tied. "Alright class, we'll be starting shortly" sang the voice of the colourfully dressed professor. Bimbo tripped and fell down all 47 steps of the lecture hall. "Now this one is eager!" the professor smiled. "He's already begun CLOWNING AROUND!!!". The entire room erupted in honking. On the floor, Bimbo remembered that he hadn't brought any batteries for his clown keyboard.
Episode 02
👉👌 Hey did you know you can put emojis here
Soon the day of lessons was over. Bimbo, being a loser with no social life whatsoever, found himself laying in bed, staring at his dormitory ceiling, when there was a knock on the door. Opening it, he found himself face-to-face with a gigantic crow lady. "OH MY GOD PLEASE GOD DON'T EAT ME OH FUCK OH SHIT". The crow held out a feather for Bimbo to shake. "Hi, I'm gonna be your roommate this year." Bimbo realised that in his panic, that he had not noticed the size of the crowlady's breasts. In his culture, large breasts were associated with humility, as by holding such volume in one's chest, they gave the impression that there was nothing in their brain. Bimbo shook her hand. "Don't worry, I'm used to the racism." She squawked. "You know, in the five hours you've been screaming, I never did get a chance to ask your name!"
Bimbo came to know her name to be Cassandra Heights, and Cassandra came to know the clown was Bimbo Farewell.
"So, Cassandra, what brings you to Gay Communist University?"
"I'm studying Avian Dentistry at the college. You know, pick up the family trade."
"Ah."
"Truth be told, I'm not so sure of myself. I mean I don't know if I really got the guts to be an Avian Dentist like my old man."
Bimbo sat attentively. Cassandra drew another breath from her cigarette, its soul of smoke and ash filling the room with its desperate attempt to return to the heavens.
The crow continued homosexually.
"I just don't know... If I'm doing the right thing, really."
"What do you mean?" Bimbo honked.
"What I mean is..." Cassandra rolled on her mattress, to face the clown as she spoke. "...that the week before I left home to come here, I've been tossing and turning each night." She rolled back to face the ceiling. "That with every walnut I've cracked open, I have stared into my soul to search for answers. And no squawk I squawk ever gets any."
"You and I are kindred spirits, Cass."
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